||Subject: Attachment Parenting Despite Medical
I'm the mother of 18-month-old identical twins born 11 weeks
premature. We intended on an extended-nursing career for our boys, but
due to several medical conditions (congenital defects) coupled with
prematurity, it wasn't possible and believe me WE TRIED!!!
I would like to see some info on what parents can do when they can't
be with their children, when children are in intensive care, born by
C-section, are unable to nurse, and are sick. I couldn't
"sling" my babies because they were hooked to apnea monitors
for the first three months at home (they spent their real first three
months in the hospital) and one was on continuous oxygen up until one
month ago. I believe that children such as ours would benefit more than
the average child from some form of attachment parenting, but how does
one do that when there are so many medical and technical obstacles in
the way? Well, I think we may have succeeded, but some advice along the
way would have been greatly appreciated!
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for sharing your touching story. While the specific
recommendations we offer on our site may make it easier to bond with a
child, they should never be confused with the bonding itself. It is the
loving bond between parent and child that is the real goal.
By coincidence, I recently found this unique web site:
Overcoming Breastfeeding Issues"
Here is a description:
"The purpose of MOBI (Mothers Overcoming Breast feeding Issues) is to
give women a place to discuss their emotions over not being able to breast
feed successfully. Many women are unable to breastfeed because of milk
supply problems, long- or short-term separation after the birth of their
child, previous breast surgery, or lack of support, and are overwhelmed
with feelings of disappointment, anger, sadness, inadequacy and many
others. Some women suffer depression because of these issues. This list is
not to discuss the pros and cons of breast over bottle. There are many
other resources for that
information. We are here to provide a safe atmosphere to share feelings
and to connect with other women going through the same process."
I would appreciate your feedback as to whether this
site is helpful for you.
There is also an advice reply on the
La Leche League site regarding sudden weaning. The last few lines seem to
speak to your situation too: "... mothering is more than giving milk.
Keep giving lots of hugs and kisses. Snuggling in a rocking chair may
comfort her. If you have a sling-type baby carrier, try wearing her in the
sling. If you don't already share sleep with your daughter you may want to
consider it during this tough transition. Guilt isn't easy to cope with.
Take comfort in the knowledge that you didn't choose for this to
happen. Your daughter has been blessed with a wonderful mother who loves
her and is in tune to her feelings."
You did the very best you could, and no one can do
more than that! I commend you for the loving start you have given your
sons despite all the challenges you have had to face.
All the best,