My son Zeal darts past me on the walking trails near our home. We spend the morning snooping in the bushes, snacking on the plump berries that practically fall into our palms, and sprinkling "fish food" (crumbled autumn leaves) into the creek. Today is a "yes day," a day in which I consciously choose to say yes to my child, to honor his spirit, his desires, his choices. Today there is no, "We need to…", "Time to go…", or "One more minute...", and (practically) anything goes.

Families can work towards getting past power struggles by building connections and trying to understand each other better. Consider the following when planning your own yes days.

Questioning your agenda can serve as an extended exercise in being a more mindful parent. Getting past reflexively saying "It's time to go" or "One more minute" can create an environment in which we can say yes more often.

Sovereignty for a child means gaining autonomy - a lifelong goal for anyone. Children deserve to live in a world in which their ideas and desires are not seen as "childish," but are taken seriously. Like all people, children are entitled to be loved and to find strength in that love.

Listen

Yes days can give children the space and time they need to develop fully. When we consciously choose to listen to our children, we gain the opportunity to stay connected with them. If our child imagines that a mouse lives in every clock turning the hands, we can consider it an opportunity to gain insight into her exploration of the world, rather than always correcting her observation. This can be difficult if we are in the habit of "seizing the teachable moment."

Home is a haven, one in which we can be sheltered from the barrage of outside stimuli. If at all practical, give yourself permission to be free from your schedule every now and then. Follow your child's lead, and spend the afternoon curled up in bed reading books. Cancel your meeting and spend some one-on-one time sipping cocoa in your pajamas. Remember that the world we are creating for our children will directly affect the world they will create as they grow into adulthood. Being pulled away from something a child deems important is a direct instruction that teaches him to run his own agenda on others as he grows up.

If you are a parent of siblings, surely you know that the adage "you can't please everyone all of the time" rings true. Consider what my friend and her husband do every year. While juggling the schedules of their two children, they plan what their family calls "yes trips." These trips offer one-on-one time with mom or dad, without a sibling to compete with. They spend the specified date doing only what the child wants to do: going to the beach, stopping for a hike or at a lookout on the way, eating when and where their child wants to.

My friend says, "These 'yes days' have been a reminder that even though we are a unit, we are all individuals. We need to take the time to work on each individual relationship, because the pieces add up to more than the whole."

Saying yes and affirming our children as human beings is a gift to everyone involved. So go ahead, say yes to your kids. As we learn to say yes to each other and to the ebb and flow of the world, yes days are in fact training for us to live yes lives. And perhaps our yes lives will inspire our children to create a yes world.