| Once everyone had a mother. They were not only born from a
mother but they had a mother who took care of them after they were born. Mothers,
then, were especially important to babies since they could not live unless their
mothers took care of them. At first, a baby did not know this. But it did know, or
more correctly, feel that mother was warmth, comfort, fullness and completeness.
As the baby grew into childhood, mother became associated with goodness and
rightness. Mother was good and it was good to be with mother. It did not feel right if
mother was not there. But, once, mother was always there. Babies were nursed whenever
they cried. They were continuously held in their mothers' arms and they slept beside
their mothers at night. Mothers also took their babies with them wherever they went,
to bathe in a river, lake or stream, to gather food and to prepare it, or to visit
with friends. Mother was always there because her baby was with her when she worked,
when she ate, when she played, when she slept and even when she made love.
And mothers did not mind that their babies were always there. They would have
minded if their babies were not with them. Neither did mothers mind being mothers.
Being a mother was good. It felt good and everyone else thought it was good, and it
was good - good for mothers and for babies and for everyone. |
| All that I have said above was true a long, long time ago when human
beings, like all other animals, lived in the natural world. Humans, before they made
their own artificial world, were a part of nature. They were not separate from it as
they are now. As part of nature, mothers cared for their babies in the ways that were
natural for humans. They fed their babies from their breasts for many years. Babies
thrived on the milk of their mothers and mothers were proud that they could make milk
for their babies. Besides having healthy babies, something else happened because
mothers nursed their babies for a long time. The babies, as they grew, knew that there
was someone there for them, someone who cared about them and who wanted them to be
happy and content. All children grew up feeling that they were safe and protected and
certain that there was always someone to whom they could turn if they were frightened,
unsure, or troubled or if they just needed comfort. They knew that they were not
separate in the world. |
| A long, long time ago children were not afraid of their
mothers. Mothers did not hit or spank their children. They never punished them. In
fact, if the mothers of long ago saw how mothers of today hit and yell at their
children or send them to bed without supper, they would think that such mothers were
insane. The long ago mothers believed that mothers should protect their children and
not hurt them - not even hurt their feelings.
The people of today have different ideas about babies, children, and mothers than
the people of long ago. Today they believe that the main thing mothers should do is to
train their children, starting when they are babies, to grow up right - even if that
means hurting them sometimes. They also think that if mothers were always with their
babies, sleeping with them and holding them all the time and never punishing or
disciplining them, that, as they grew older, they would be spoiled and not be able to
get along with people and not even know how to be alone. They would be used to always
having their own way so they would not obey their teachers in school or other adults.
They would also be used to always getting what they wanted so they would use up all
their parents money by always buying toys and candy and anything that they saw and
wanted. But more likely they would not even grow up because, for sure, they would run
in front of a car and get killed because their mothers let them do whatever they want.
If they did live to grow up, they would turn out to be selfish, and they would
never work or do anything worthwhile because they would expect everyone, including the
government, to support and take care of them. They would even make us lose wars
because, being spoiled, they would not be willing to fight for our freedom. |
| Some people think that if children were cared for by their mothers the
way they were a long, long time ago, they would not want to grow up. They would remain
attached to their mothers forever. Maybe they believe this because to them having such
a mother would be so nice that they think no one in their right mind would ever be
willing to give up such a good thing. What these people don't seem to know is that
having a mother like that, the way nature intended, is the only way you really can
grow up. You see, if you have had a real mother, you don't need one as you get older.
You can go on to the next step of becoming a responsible, grown-up person like your
mother, someone, who because they were cared for, finds it natural to be caring of
others. |
| I think that people who believe that having a mother who is always
there for you is a bad thing, never had such a mother. And I also believe that they
don't want anyone else to have such a mother because they didn't. I also know that
when people left the world of nature they lost something. A lot of people would agree
with me on that one, but they would say that what we lost was paradise. But they're
wrong. What we lost was mother and our belief in natural human growth through
mothering.
One thing we can really be sure of is that once people began to become civilized,
they began to see babies and children in very strange ways - a lot like they saw the
sheep, pigs, and cows that they raised. It seems that children came to be thought of
as naturally bad, and people began to believe that they wouldn't grow up right if you
were nice to them. I guess that is where such sayings come from like, "Spare the
rod and spoil the child," or ideas like, picking up a baby whenever it cries will
spoil it. Even stranger to me, is why people began to replace mothers with wet-nurses,
nannies, governesses, and formula or milk in bottles with rubber nipples. I guess they
thought there was something wrong with natural mothering. Maybe, though, they knew
what they were doing. They could have figured out that being nice to babies and
children would make it hard for them, when they grew up, to live in the cruel,
uncaring world that humans made after they left the world of nature. And maybe they
also knew that women really liked breast-feeding and taking care of their babies and
would get so involved in doing it that they wouldn't have time to wash the dishes or
clean the house or even want to be with their husbands very much.
But I know one thing for sure. I wish I had a mother who took care of me the way
mothers did a long, long time ago. Don't you? When I think of it, it makes me feel
like I do when I hear the song "Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" - sort of
sad and lonely. It makes me wonder "Where have all the mothers gone?"
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