| Mary:
How did the Natural Child Project come to be?
Jan: In 1996, I asked my son, Jason, who
was 15 at the time, if we should start a website. Because he had
unschooled from the beginning and learns everything he needs to know
on his own, he taught himself how to design a website by looking at
other sites' source pages. We started the website in December of 1996
with a few of my parenting columns from Natural Life Magazine. At that
point, we had no plans to add anything more to the site. We would have
been very surprised then to learn how large our website would become!
Back in 1989, Dr. Elliott Barker invited me to
be the assistant editor for the journal Empathic Parenting, and a
board member of the Canadian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Children. He also published my article “Ten Reasons Not to Hit Your
Kids” in a 1989 issue, which happened to reach Alice Miller. She
added my article to her next book, Breaking Down The Wall of
Silence. When Jason and I started our website, Alice gave us
permission to post some of her articles and book excerpts, and our
website started to grow. We have since added more articles by Alice
and many other leading writers.
In the spring of 1997 Jason realized that the
website was all about children, but there was nothing by them or for
them, so he started the Global Children’s Art Gallery. In the
beginning there were only a few pictures from friends' children, but
CNN Headline News and Yahoo! both suddenly promoted it. Since then the
gallery has had many submissions, and has become the largest
collection of children's art on the Internet, with over 1000 images
from 67 countries. We offer prints, posters, greeting cards and
clothing using images from the Gallery as a fundraiser.
Mary: Can you share a bit about the
philosophy of attachment parenting?
Jan: It's interesting - some years ago, I
wrote an article called "What is Attachment Parenting?" and
showed it to a close fiend. She liked the article, but was surprised
that I hadn't included a "laundry list" such as carrying,
cosleeping and natural weaning. But attachment parenting is so much
more than these specific choices. Its essence is loving and trusting
our children - believing that they are doing the best they can at
every given moment. It all comes down to trust. John Holt said it best
in just two words: "Trust children".
Mary: It seems as if many families who
enjoy attachment parenting also go on to homeschool or unschool. Do
you feel that it's easier for those who do understand attachment
parenting to understand unschooling?
Jan: If I were to write a laundry list
for attachment parenting, unschooling would be on the list. It's the
most consistent educational choice for attachment parents. In
unschooling, we trust that the child knows what he wants to learn and
how to go about learning it, and his natural curiosity is left intact.
Unschooling children take joy in the intrinsic values of whatever they
are learning. The structure of school (required attendance,
school-selected topics and books, and constant checking of the
child’s progress) assumes that children are not natural learners,
but must be compelled to learn through coercion, intimidation, and
fear. Because school approaches are based on mistrust, they represent
in many ways the polar opposite of attachment parenting.
Mary: How did you get started in
unschooling?
We learned about unschooling when were living in
Ontario. Jason was a baby and a free monthly magazine was delivered to
our door. I was usually too busy to read it, but one day I noticed
there was an article on homeschooling. Looking back, I can see that it
was one of the best articles I have read on the subject. Before I was
a parent, I thought that homeschooling was wonderful if someone could
manage it, but I thought I wasn't organized or energetic enough to
create a school in my home! Fortunately, my thinking was completely
turned around when I read that first article.
We moved to BC when Jason was 2, and found a
homeschooling support group based on John Holt's books. We loved being
with these families - their children were friendly, content, curious
and active. We knew right away that this was what we wanted for our
son. But I've noticed that even the most structured homeschooling
families tend to become more like unschoolers over time - they can’t
help but notice that less structure is better, and that teaching can
in fact interfere with learning. They begin to trust their child's
natural curiosity and enjoyment, which they can't help but observe
every day.
In a sense, every parent is an unschooling
parent until the child reaches so-called "school age". If
their child is interested in trains, they get books on trains, toy
trains, or go on train rides. Then their child turns 5 or 6, and the
assumption seems to be that learning is now suddenly difficult and
complicated - as though children that age are no longer natural
learners.
Beyond the false assumptions about learning, no
school can provide the close attention and compassion available from
caring parents. It doesn’t matter if it's a public school in a high
crime area, or an expensive private school in a beautiful setting -
both separate the child from their parents and siblings, and are not
equipped to provide the kind of close attention and trusting
acceptance available from a loving parent - who knows her child so
much better than any teacher could.
Mary: While visiting your site, I read
many of your articles, but one that I keep returning to is Subjective
Vs. Objective Labels: A Plea for Occam’s Razor. Can you explain the
difference between subjective and objective labels?
Jan: Cancer is objective. You can take a
biopsy, and see the cells. The diagnosis is open to evaluation - it
can be proved or disproved. A subjective label is the opposite - it's
arbitrary and unprovable - an opinion, not a fact. The existence of
ADD/ADHD has never been proven in any scientific way. This is what
Brian Beaumont of the Citizens Commission on Human Rights wrote:
"The fact is, there is nothing in any medical or scientific
literature that confirms the existence of ADHD. It was invented by a
handful of psychiatrists by a show of hands at an American Psychiatric
Association meeting in the 80's. Thus, psychiatrists are labeling and
drugging a non-existent malady."
When parents call to say their child has been
diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, I ask “What lab results were you
shown?” There weren't any, because there is no scientific test -
just a short, subjective questionnaire, with such vague behavioral
descriptions that virtually any child could receive this label. Yet
psychiatrists confidently conclude from this deceptive questionnaire
that a child has a serious "disorder", and needs dangerous
medication - Ritalin is a form of speed. Such drugs often cause
negative reactions. How do they treat those reactions? They increase
the dosage or give another dangerous medication. It can be very
difficult for a child to break free from this cycle. And of course,
the danger isn't just physical, but emotional, because medicalized
labels can't help but affect a child's self-image and self-esteem.
Mary: What is Occam’s Razor?
Jan: Wikipedia defines it this way:
"The explanation of any phenomenon should make as few assumptions
as possible, eliminating those that make no difference in the
observable predictions of the explanatory hypothesis or theory."
A child in school may be bored by a dull teaching approach, may be
reacting to teasing from other children, responding to family stress,
or - most likely - is simply a healthy, active child who finds it
difficult to sit still for unnaturally long periods of time. Any of
those explanations are simpler and more logical than an unproven,
hypothetical "disorder".
Mary: It appears that ADHD and other
learning disabilities are being over-diagnosed. Why do you feel this
trend is continuing?
Jan: One factor is money - every school
district gets more money for every child with a mental health or
special education "diagnosis". And parents may welcome a
pseudoscientific label if they are intimidated by doctors or if
they're not well informed. Circular thinking is inherent in the
process. If a teacher sends a child for an ADHD evaluation, the
evaluators assume the teacher knows there is a disorder. They see
their job not as determining the existence or non-existence of a
disorder, but rather of determining which label and which drugs to
give. Once a child is sent to an evaluator, he is well on his way to
being permanently labeled instead of being understood. In some states,
children can be required to see an evaluator and required to take
drugs to stay in school. And these are the same people who tell
children to "just say no to drugs"! But in some areas,
things are improving. Dr. John Breeding, author of The Wildest
Colts Make the Best Horses, helped to change the law in Texas.
Parents there can now refuse to have their child tested and they can
refuse to have their child put on medication.
Mary: Do you have any tips for helping
folks identify some of these causes or needs that might be confused as
ADHD or for those who have been labeled as ADHD?
Jan: If the child is in school, boredom
and frustration from being forced to endure this unnatural environment
are the most likely causes. Many children are temporarily
"cured" of this so-called disorder during summer vacation,
or are permanently "cured" by being taken out of school.
Restlessness and aggression can be related to
such things as food allergy, poor nutrition, emotional stress, or
punishment. Instead of using an unhelpful label like "ADD"
or "ADHD", attention to more realistic and specific factors
can be much more constructive.
Mary: Before we close, what do you feel
is the most important information that you share with unschoolers?
Jan: To enhance learning, see yourself as
a "reference librarian". Be alert to interests that develop
naturally, and help your child to find the resources that can answer
her questions. Remember that everyone learns best by asking questions,
not by answering them. Trust your child's unique timetable, and trust
what your heart tells you.
Mary: Thank you for your excellent work
and for sharing your time with us.
Jan: Thank you for the opportunity!
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